Conviction
by Synthetic-Skywalker
Summary: This isn't entirely about living the life of a hero of the Clone War. Well, it is, but this is from a closer perspective, a personal perspective. The Clone War has ended and our Hero with No Fear has a few words of wisdom to share with his audience. (Theme: homosexuality.) Just a one-shot.


**CONVICTION**

**For those who are afraid to stand up for what they believe in.**

**ANAKIN SKYWALKER**

If we cannot live life through the acceptance of ourselves on our own or with the acceptance of those we hold dear, how can we _live?_ I mean _truly _live. We, as humane creatures, crave the acceptance of others even at our own expense. We know we cannot be perfect by any means, yet we strive to be perfect. Why? We _know _that we have a potential, a purpose we are meant to live out. We begin and we end. There's in the middle, but the middle is only what leads us to our ends, whether it be untimely or through natural means at an elderly age.

We begin as individuals who require the aid of others, our families. We need their attention, their love, their _acceptance. _In the beginning, we're hardly unique. We're just another young one born into a cruel world where things are stripped away with the snap of a finger, with the drop of a pin. Something so insignificant can strip us of our happiness, our achievements, our _love._

I should've known who I was before I got to this point. It was so obvious on so many occasions and I wish I'd seen it earlier. Maybe it would've been easier for my loved ones to accept the transition. It would've been easier for them. It would've been easier for me. It's taken too long to discover who I truly am, who I was meant to be, who I _should _have been all along.

I'm not the Anakin Skywalker everyone knew. I'm not the Hero with No Fear that people have looked up to. I'm barely the man I want to be. I have no dignity left. I've shunned myself and I've been shunned by others I thought loved me. It isn't as clear cut as I'm making it out to be. They don't say things so blatantly to express how they've shunned me. They hide it through insignificant comments, through insignificant discussions. I hate when they hold discussions behind my back, and I hate it more so when it's done it front of me as though I'm nonexistent.

I, Anakin Skywalker, am not the man everyone believed I was. I'm not the man who fears nothing, who fights for the Republic and the Republic alone. I'm a man who has many fears, who fights for the people I love. _Love._ That's why I'm getting at. You all think I'm meant to be with Padmé, perhaps even Ahsoka? Am I right? _Yes. _I _know _I'm right. What no one knows is that my desires are not for either of them. My desire has taken an entirely new path with entirely new feelings, passions, and needs.

Why am I revealing this now, you ask?

_I'm simply tired of the lies, of the hiding I undergo on a daily basis._

I'm not into anyone of the opposite sex. I _never _have been, but I refused to accept that. I refused to believe it. Why? It's _unnatural._ I apologize. It is _deemed _unnatural. So many people have influenced us to believe we have a certain way to live, to think, to feel. We are meant to shun the ones who are claimed to be unnatural, who are _pegged _from the beginning to be unnatural. I alone have discovered that it _isn't _like that, that it _shouldn't _be like that. I was taught not to love. I was taught to follow orders and see them through. I was always so sure that my desires were to be what is considered natural, but now I know they aren't. Now I know how different I am. _Different? _I've only become different to those who knew me as I was before. My sexuality changed, but the person I am inside hasn't changed. I still think, still feel, still hurt like anyone else regardless of sexuality. I held my original status to keep up a figure. I'm supposed to be a role model for the generations to come.

_How am I supposed to be a hero if I can't be who I am?_

I'm meant to inspire, to create an image for others to look up to after my time has come. I'm meant to show others how confident, how courageous, how _normal _they can be with their own lives. Normal is defined differently depending on who you talk to. I'll tell you what my version of normality is.

_If _you can _accept _yourself for who you are, _if _you can _love _who you _want _to love, _if _you can _truly _be _happy _with the way you are, then you _have _achieved normality. The standards society has set for us is that we, as men, must marry women and that women are meant to marry men. We are supposed to be what others want us to be, what others expect us to be. Why? It's just how our mindset has always been. We seek to impress others, to influence them to be proud of us and our accomplishments. We strive for acceptance, for pride, for happiness. We _shouldn't _live in fear that we'll disappoint someone, that someone will hurt us, that someone will shun us for the person we have always been.

I, as a war hero and another life form, am telling you to be who you _are_, not who you're _expected _to _be._

_Never _let anyone tell you to be something or someone you aren't. _Never _let anyone discourage you to live the life you want to live. _Never _try to be perfect. We must be ourselves, we must achieve the things that please us, and we _must _accept that we will make mistakes, that we will never be perfect. Perfection and normality are standards that are defined in many ways. Normality is to be straight. Perfection is to have no flaws.

Call me _unnatural._ I don't care. I _am _who I want to be. I _am _happy with myself. I _am _proud to live as a homosexual. Call me_ freak._ It's fine. I'm _different._ I'm an _outcast._ I _am _unnatural. That doesn't mean that I can't see myself as natural. The way I feel, the way I think… It's who I _am._ No amount of hatred, no amount of battering words, no amount of influence, no amount of rumors can change the person I have become.

I _refuse _to be something I'm _not._

I'm the man I'm happy and proud to be. I'm gay. So what? My life is _my life._ No one else has to live it and I didn't ask for criticism. I know I'll be criticized. I know I'll be hated. I know I'll be bashed and my reputation and image could more than likely be diminished. Do you see how much I care? Do you see how much that affects me?

_No._

To know that I lose everything over my sexuality _does _hurt. If it didn't hurt, I wouldn't be human. I am _not _emotionless. I am _not _invincible. Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me?

_Not true._

Words _do _hurt. Before you hate, before you criticize, before you even think anything negative… Take into consideration the way you're affecting someone. Watch what you say. If I were in your shoes, I wouldn't say something to potentially hurt someone, to potentially _take _a life.

That's not who I am. I have learned to accept myself and I am _ready _to accept other people who consider themselves unnatural, unwanted, unloved. I can show you how _natural_, how _wanted_, how _loved _you _really _are.

I'm not afraid to live like this. I'm not afraid to say I live like this. I can admit to this because I have pride, I have dignity. I lost it when I lost sight of who I am, but I have regained it over a period of time. I can be aggressive, I can be unsure of myself, I can be hurt. You know what I won't do? I will _never _hurt anyone else who thinks they have to be afraid because they're _different._ I feel like a true hero because I can stand up for the person I am inside. I feel like a hero because I can stand up for others. Though the Clone War has ended, I am still a hero. I will save those who lurk in the darkness of fear, of sorrow, of pain. I will promote the greater good of who people are. I _will_ accept everyone as they are, even if I don't understand at first. I would leave the Order to be who I want to be. Every word I utter will not be of hatred towards something I don't understand. I will speak only with the highest of praise to promote their conviction, their belief.

_Can the same be said for you?_


End file.
